Weird Tales

Waukesha sheriff’s office pulls over Weinermobile

What really happened on that fateful day with the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile? The driver of the #Wienermobile was stopped & given a verbal warning by a @WaukeshaSheriff for not following the Move Over Law (2001 WI Act 15, WI Statute 346.072)#MoveOver #SlowDown #Wienermobile pic.twitter.com/KHbt9z803X — Waukesha County Sheriff (@WaukeshaSheriff) January 27, 2020      …

Umm, isn’t that bad luck?

4. National Open an Umbrella Indoors DayWhen: March 13Openning an umbrella indoors is generally considered bad luck, but what this national day suggests is … maybe it’s not? You know, that’s a risk I’m not willing to take. I don’t need to open an umbrella indoors, walk outside and then get hit by a falling space toilet or something all to find out that, yep, turns out that’s bad luck. Between a lung collapse, a blown appendix and a diet that most doctors call “disrespectful,” I’ve tempted fate enough. I don’t need to give it a helping hand.

Via The weirdest national days in the month of March @ OnMilwaukee

That’s gotta be at least a week’s worth of Fox News…

GREEN BAY, WI – There’s a person who has played an important role in my life whose beliefs regarding politics and religion differ from my own. I am a progressive, liberal Democrat. She is not. We had previously agreed “not to go there”. However, last night, we did. What she told me left me wondering, “How in the world could anyone possibly believe such ridiculous shit?”

Among the beliefs she revealed were:

  • Planned Parenthood intentionally performs abortions in order to harvest and sell baby body parts for large profits.
  • Baby body parts that aren’t sold are cannibalized by Democrats who support abortion.
  • Hillary Clinton has had 57 people shot in the back of the head to cover up the Clinton’s crimes.
  • George H.W. Bush was executed years earlier and the coffin at his recent funeral was empty.
  • George W. and Jeb Bush, Bill and Hillary Clinton, and Barack Obama were served indictments at the funeral and are already being held at Guantanamo Bay, which was currently rebuilt to accommodate them.
  • All the above were served indictments at George H.W. Bush’s funeral. Sightings of these people, including Obama’s recent attendance at the basketball game in Durham, N.D. were staged using body doubles.
  • Hillary and Bill Clinton are the worst criminals ever in American history.
  • The only mainstream media that can believed is Fox News and any facts provided by anyone aligned with the Democratic Party are fake.
  • Trump is a Christian who attends church regularly.
  • The Democratic Party is evil and full of haters.
  • Trump is a brilliant businessman who has made billions of dollars and has never filed bankruptcy.
  • Republicans won’t cut Social Security or Medicare, they just need to cut Welfare and Food Stamps for the overwhelming number of people who need to get a job, who don’t deserve it, and who either sell or give what they get from government programs away.
  • Although she lives on Social Security, gets Medicare and lives in a rent assisted senior building, she firmly opposes Socialism because she doesn’t want the government involved in her life.
  • Trump is much smarter than Democrats think and he has a plan in place to take down the entire “Deep State” that includes the CIA, the FBI and Nation Security, all who have been complicit in covering up the Clinton crimes.

Via You Really Believe That?!? @ NE WI Progressive.

Nothing for Naruto 

Macaca_nigra_self-portrait_largeOf course, a monkey wouldn’t know he had legal rights even if he did. Some human beings would need to purport to represent the monkey, and that’s what was going on here. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals sought to capture the income stream from Naruto the monkey’s beloved photography and offered to spend the money for the benefit of him and the various other crested macaques on the island of Sulawesi.

Via Althouse: The selfie monkey cannot own the copyright to the photo he took.

Just not right

Email sent to everyone:

“If you let my lunch bag go now that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill yell at you. To the low life who literally stole my lunch and dinner, please have the decency to at least return my WLC lunch bag to the kitchen. I just want Ruthey to get home safely.”

Via Somebody at Cornell Law School stole a law student’s Ruth Bader Ginsburg lunch bag @ Althouse.

Expecting an Invasion Force of Orcs and Wargs

A recent poll conducted by Public Policy Polling shows that 32 percent of Republican voters believe in the conspiracy theory that President Barack Obama is planning to use a military exercise to invade the state of Texas. For real…. Among Walker’s supporters, 38 percent believe the Texas-Invasion conspiracy theory, with 36 percent of his supporters…